Valentine’s Day.  What a lovely, wonderful time to remember exactly how single you really are.

But hey, it could be worse.  Like that first Valentine’s day I ever spent with a boyfriend.  His name was Trevor.  He went by “Fillmoe Trev” to rep not the hood he grew up in, but the street his grandma lived on in her newly updated San Francisco apartment.  He was 4 years older than I, a 6’7, 325 lb black man with dreadlocks.  We used to do romantic shit all the time, like hold our phones up to our boombox and leave a voicemail of “Me and My Bitch” by the Notorious B.I.G. on each other’s phones.  Because, obviously, our relationship—me, growing up in a 99.9% white suburb, and him, living in the same said suburb—was exactly like the gangster relationship Biggie describes in the song.

Our very first Valentine’s together, he brought me a partially-deflated Love balloon, and a pair of fuzzy socks from Nordstrom.  He used the gift card I gave him for his birthday.  And I, I bought him the brand new cleats he wanted (I worked at Nike at the time, and he swore he was going to make it to the NFL) and emailed him a picture of my butt in a thong that I bought for 5 for $10 at Rue21 that I had to hide from my mom, which I edited on Paint to write “I love Fillmoe Trev” on my ass.  Ahhhh, young love…

And then there was the complete opposite Valentine’s experience.  This time, I was in a new relationship, after being single for years, and the idea of having a romantic night out was completely foreign to me.  My boyfriend wrote me a beautiful card, and whisked me away to the city where he had a hotel room with a panoramic view of San Francisco, a bottle of champagne, and chocolate strawberries waiting for us upon arrival.  So, naturally, I gave him a picture of my ass with his name written on it.  I kid, I kid.

But who’s to say that one Valentine’s Day was better than the other?  In all honesty, I felt loved on both days.  And you know what I’ll be doing this Valentine’s Day?  Spending it with people who make me feel loved–my girlfriends.  Probably eating and drinking too much, watching a chick flick, and going out on the town to slay like we usually do.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way, because Valentine’s Day is about feeling loved, with those you love.  If you’re single and fabulous, and can’t manage to get together with friends, take some time to treat yourself this Valentine’s Day.  Because to quote the ever-amazing Justin Bieber, “You should go and love yourself.”