No Solicitation

As I’ve discussed in previous posts, most of today’s dating is done via profiles in phone apps, where your initial interaction comes from swiping either yes or no on a picture of the person.  Then, once you’ve both “matched,” women will often experience something to varying degrees along the lines of, “Send papi a pic.”  Maybe not to that extreme, but at some point in time, he will ask for a pic.  It can just be expected.

But what shouldn’t be expected, and for that matter, what SHOULDN’T OCCUR, is unsolicited pictures from a dude.

IMG_7376

You all know what I’m talking about.  And I am going to make a public service announcement right now, and tell you all that NO GIRL WANTS A PICTURE OF YOU UNLESS SHE ASKS YOU.  So, if you send one, be prepared for it to be circulated to all of her friends.  

IMG_7442

You’ve been warned now.  We will rip him a new one.

IMG_7443

Why is it not okay, you ask?

#1.) It’s feminine AF.  Girls take selfies because a.) Women are beautiful, b.) We enjoy using filters and editing pictures. c.) Our girlfriends compliment us on them and we feel fly as a motha.

Now, explain to me why a dude would take a selfie?

a.) Are men beautiful?  No (Except for a few rare breeds like David Beckham)

b.) Do guys put the filter on with the flower crown that makes their skin look flawless and their eyes sparkle?  Not the straight ones.

c.) Do guys comment on each other’s pictures and say, “Ya bro, you’re slayin’ in this pic.  You look so hot.”

No.  I sure as hell hope not.

So WHY DO THEY DO IT?!

Let’s take a look at a few more examples.

IMG_7373

CRINGE. 

But no, he doesn’t give up.  He decides to then give you a play by play of what he’s doing after you didn’t respond to his selfie and other texts…

FullSizeRender (1)

Good.  Lord.  f6878539136752df6f59bbd305997f55

What is a girl to do when she gets these unsolicited selfies?

Honestly, ladies… My only advice when you come across one of these yourself, is to take notes from my girlfriend Miranda, and start quoting Beyoncé lyrics the next time he texts you.

  Maybe that will get the point across, that she’s just not that interested, bro.

IMG_7436

IMG_7437

Or, if nothing else, he’ll just be confused as hell, and you will have something to die laughing at with all of your girlfriends in your group text, as they send you suggestions to keep the Yoncé lyrics flowing.

IMG_7440

Actually, keep the man-selfies coming.  We always love a good laugh, and I can always use some good blog material.

tumblr_o69p18zPF61uea2edo1_500

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s